Now that the holidays are over, most of us are wondering where to put all of the stuff that our children received from Santa and well-meaning relatives. We also know, after a month of play, which toys are “keepers”, which ones excited no interest, and which ones we will have to sneak out of the house in the dead of night while our children are asleep. These are the toys that we deem dangerous, poorly made, or downright annoying.
Toys are the tools for play. Play is such an important component of growth and development that I will devote an entire column to it in February. For now, I will say that because play is our children’s work, their tools must be made from the finest materials and designs. We wouldn’t dream of giving a violin prodigy an instrument made from a cardboard box with rubber band strings. Why, then, would we give a child in the important process of learning about the world and her place in it, a gaudy toy that emits odd squeaks, tinny bells, and cartoon voices, like so many of the plastic choices we see on the shelves?
Baby really needs only three simple toys: a wooden rattle, a small felted wool ball, and a square of silk. The wooden rattle stimulates the senses of touch, taste, and hearing and offers something to suck and chew on; the felted wool ball is colorful, easily grasped by little hands, and eventually enhances eye-hand coordination; and a square of brightly-colored silk, say 10” by 10”, can be tied into a simple first doll, placed just out of reach to encourage crawling, and used for the always favorite “peek-a-boo” game. I marvel at how much fun—and learning—a toddler gets from smooth stones, water, sand, and a regular, old-fashioned cardboard box! After the initial allure of the plastic thingies with bells and whistles, most children abandon them in favor of the simple, well-made toy from natural materials.
Experts in child development agree that early intellectual, social, physical, and emotional development depend most on a child’s interaction with her environment, which includes especially, her people. Gazing directly into his eyes, talking with him in normal tones, and responding to him with smiles and encouragement whenever he initiates communication enhances and stimulates healthy development much more than most products that manufacturers insist we must buy to raise healthy children.
Music is essential, too, but rather than buying those Baby Mozart tapes, it is the soothing sounds of our own voices, no matter how refined, that best soothe and comfort Baby. Singing silly songs and teaching her the age-old hand games, like pat a cake, pat a cake, strengthens the all-important bond between parent and child that is essential for the development of trust and self-esteem. We can even make simple drums and rattles children love to use from beans and any hollow, natural object, preferable over anything manufactured, especially from plastic. (See my November column about healthy living in a toxic world.)
Books are wonderful, but even more so are stories we tell from our own experiences, using our vocal inflections and eyes to capture and hold our children’s interest. These stories can be as mundane as our last trip to the grocery store, or as fanciful as a recent dream, but they offer tremendous opportunities to teach our family values, spiritual traditions, and cultural roots. They become even more important as our children grow. Unlike the adult-generated, often frightening, and sometimes misogynist, racist, and violent imagery of so-called children’s movies and videos, our own stories enable and invite our children to respond and interact with their content—and us--rather than being an inert sponge of the harmful content of most media fare.
When we are in doubt about a toy, watching how our children play with it will help us decide whether to make it part of the collection. Is it one that she goes back to time and again? Does this toy enable his imagination to create scenarios that have meaning to him? Is she engaged while using this toy, or does it encourage passive activity? Does he seem satisfied and happy or cranky and restless after playing with it?
Our own feelings about our children’s toys are just as important. Consider whether a toy is well made and esthetically pleasing. Does it evoke memories of our own well-loved toys? Do we enjoy watching our child play? Can this toy open a window into the world of fantasy, enriching imagination and creativity? Let’s not settle for anything less.
